Painfully, we are living a similar life and walking a similar path. My AH is hooked up with a young twentysomething girl who lives at home with her parents and works with my AH. She is always there to support his drinking habit and visit him and be with him in his shotty motel. It hurts so much I know. But be proud of yourself. Little victories, ok? There you are, caring for your child..feeling reality. I too obsessed over details but in the end, those things don't matter and will only drive us nutty. We are good women and we deserve better than what we have been dealt. We tried to stand by our husbands through sobriety but they chose to be selfish and give into to their illness. Please believe you deserve better. I get mad too thinking of the fact he has it so easy just moving on to the next woman trying to save him. You just have to choose to heal and that starts with No Contact. Its hard but you can do it. We will support you...prayers go out to you for strength to let him go.