Al-anon, therapy and learning about addiction helped me.
Also learning about the stages of grief. I was in denial for quite awhile.
The Journey for Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson was really helpful for me during this stage. There are actually chemical released in the brain that lead to some of this crazy emotional stuff. It is completely out of the range of normal experience chemicals....but is actually pretty normal when we have been hurt in this way.
It helped me to not feel so alone in my feelings, and it really helped me to know that I was not crazy.
Hugs going to you.