If it were me, and I decided to stick with the 'I was hurt' thing, I would also make sure I let her know that just because I was hurt, it doesn't excuse me acting so immaturely and lash out. I would let her know that nothing she did was why I ACTED the way I did.
There's nothing wrong with feeling the natural reaction that you do. But its how you handle it that makes the difference.
My mom is like that. There's no talking. As soon as theres something she doesn't like(as far as the way something makes her feel), she lashes out.
I'm 33 and just know realizing that my emotional reaction is that of a little kid. I looked up one day, and I was 'acting' like my mom. And I'm just barely scrathing the surface on working on it. Sometimes it comes out before I can even think...and its because of this, its been easy for me to relapse. Because how ever I decide to "deal" with my feelings; whether I lash out, drown 'em in liquor, or brush 'em under the rug until I explode then drown them in liquor, either way, I'm not dealing with them with them at all.
Anyway, my point is, maybe you can use this as a growing opportunity for both of you.
And is Fathers Day a day your children usually consider you for? Fathers Day is a 'parent' day...but its not Parents Day. It's Fathers Day. For kids (of any age) who don't have a father, its a day where everywhere you turn, your reminded that you don't have a dad.
If it were me, and I acted like that with my daughter, I'd have a heart to heart with her. You reacted in a way that hurt her. I wouldn't be able to let that go without letting her know how wrong I was and how it wasn't her fault and she didn't deserve it. I think you not talking about it, even though you still feel bad about it, and are even more hurt for hurting her for how YOU felt, is yet another way of not dealing with it. You both may need some insight on why the day unfolded the way it did from eachother.
Best wishes on whatever you decide...Im sure everything will work out the way they're supposed to.