Originally Posted by
HIGHBOTTOM57 
Went to my first AA meeting 36 days ago and haven't had a drink since. I had been drinking 2 to 4 alcoholic drinks a day... for several years. I came to aa because i felt guilty about my drinking... i feel it blocked me spiritually. No one in my life has ever complained about my drinking. As far as I can see I have not lost anything because of my drinking. I do feel better now that I am not drinking especially physically. I just feel so different from most people at the meetings. Don't drive ater drinking... usually drink at night after all my work is done. At social events I don't seem to have a problem drinking in moderation. Wish I could find others in the rooms who drank this way. Am I just in denial?Got myself a sponsor, get to 3 or 4 meetings per week... Can't see the how my life became unmanageable.
I hear you loud and clear. I didn't get sober until I decided to take an addictions class in college and discovered I met all the signs of an alcoholic. I had an idea beforehand, but it was hard to separate the band things that happened from my depression and my drinking. No one ever told me I might be an alcoholic, I had to figure out on my own. Now that I'm almost three years sober I see clearly how fully it was impacting my life and my guess is you will as well in time. Regardless of whether or not you're an addict (which is a term that carries a lot of baggage for some in this culture), if you feel better not drinking, in any manner, than don't do it. I never once got a DUI, though sometimes I wish I did so I'd stop earlier, but I have cutting scars which are a direct result of my substance abuse to always remind me where I came from and where I could go. And if you don't feel you need to go to AA, then don't. I went to three meetings and decided it wasn't for me and I am a completely different person, in that I'm more myself and happier than I've ever been. Do what feels right, do what makes you happy.