I have 2 boys, one is headed to college the other my ex husband & I share custody. He is typically asleep when ABF comes home so he doesn't have much to do with him. We aren't married, thank god, but it doesn't make it any easier to get him out.
He is a mess, and I think he is mentally becoming more and more unstable. He is 50 years old and acts 10. His excuses and reasonings are probably less than a 10 year old. I truly believe that if he were to go to a psychiatrist he would be diagnoised with a mental illness as well.
I'm sure most of it is the drugs/alcohol, but he will start to say bizarre things like our dog is communicating with him. One thing that I want to mention, I found out this last summer from his aunt that when he was 4 or 5 something happened and he took a ax and slaughtered all of the chickens in the coop. The found him out there full of blood and when they asked him why he said he didn't know. I have strong feeling that he was sexually abused.
It really makes me fearful that he could snap again, for the most part I am not fearful of him, but when his eyes take on that crazy look I also avoid him as much as possible.