Regeneration - Its nice to know others have tried the same. And I really admire being able to watch someone drink wine without getting a drink yourself. Almost anything will turn me to drink; specific music, a movie, seeing someone have a beer at the café.
I'm not living with my family but I do see the often. It is also not really possible for me to avoid them as my parents own and live on the farm where my horses. I also have to help them out often; and they have family and friends over often for beer, wine, etc.
Thank you very much for your reply, and I hope you will be able to see your brothers again and it will work out.
MrsKing - I have not exactly been the best company myself. So the friends - even tho I would not call them friends - I have now makes sense I believe. I have pushed the good people away so that is really my own fault.
I know some of my friends are scared of me quitting because they are afraid they are gonna be the next me or because I'm their only supply of certain medicine and other stuff. Which is not exactly something to be proud of when I think of it.
But yes, also some people are afraid because they start thinking about their own behaviour - and they might not like what the figure out. I know my mom compares her use of alcohol with mine. 2-3 bottles of wine a day doesn't sound that bad when someone else will drink twice as much.
I certainly plan on sticking around tho! It never hurts to try out a forum. (I hope, haha.)
OklaBH - That's actually a good question. I haven't thought about who I want help and support from. I will think about that.
Budrichbob678 - Just sad the brain seems to work against your own will sometimes. I don't think I can cut out everyone who drinks forever, but I can certainly distance myself from them untill I can say no. (And stick to it.)
tomsteve - Indeed. It just seems like there is this idea about an alcoholic = some old man/woman on a bench that never showers and lives in a mess. And if you don't fit into that people wont think there is an issue. I keep an extremely clean house and can shower several times a day. And I have tried people telling me just "oh, but your house is so clean! You don't have any issues!".. While some people might argue that such an obsession with having everything clean is an issue itself, haha.
Thank you everyone for replies and I'm sorry if I kinda suck at this forum-thing. Like if there is some easier way to quote people.. I just haven't used a forum before and I gave up on finding another way to do this.
(Oh crap, now there are 2 ways of replying.. Too many options!)