Thanks all! I just felt so full of hope and joy this morning. This is the longest in twenty two years without a drink (apart from my pregnancies). I didn't drink a lot everyday....just every day and sometimes a lot. My father and grandfather were alcoholics and i just sort of accepted that this was me, it was in my bones...i was an alcoholic, i was powerless. I drank moderately sometimes but always felt that at any time i could fall. I held it together mostly, went to work every day, functioned, kids always clean, fed and loved...but when they were staying with their dad...hooooooo. Then i was in the pub and i saw this woman. Dishevelled, drunk, broken veins, too low cut a top...and it was like scrooge when he sees the ghost of christmas future. I knew that i would become that poor woman. I went home. I read the AVRT book. I poured a bottle of vodka and four beers down the sink. I swore that from that moment on i would never ever drink again...and here i am. And i will never, ever drink again. Much love to you all. I have read so many posts on here that have helped me. Thank you x