Not everybody has to lose everything to see where they were going. Follow your instinct it doesn't hurt to have sober people around you. Keep posting here, go to meetings if they help, pray, and don't drink. no one can tell you if you are an alcoholic or not you have to see that. I remember asking my sponsor if I was truly an alcoholic (even though my life was ruines, living in streets, no friends, jobs), he stated that while now I have this infornmation go and try some controled drinking hahaha I knew right away I was an alcoholic/addict. I was never a social drinker.
Keep doing what you need to do for a little while trust me this way of life is a lot better than it can be drinking. God bless you and keep connected!