Originally Posted by
Payton 
Also want to say that it is feeling very difficult to admit to and deal with these feelings sober. When drinking alone when I feel like this you can just let out all of your grief in a big sloppy mess. And in my lifetime I would often drink wine and make myself throw it up and this had some sort of cathartic effect on me. But having to fight through and try and deal with and express these things while sober feels somewhat impossible and certainly lonely and uncomfortable. In this way I feel like alcohol was a friend or someone I'm missing. I feel like I'm trying to talk and don't have the words.
Sorry for being a thread hog tonight. I don't think anyone from our class is here and I'm just thinking out loud and trying to process. I know I don't have any specific problems right now compared to all the people who are struggling with legitimate events and problems.
Hey, Payton. You could never be a thread hog! I love your posts and thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts.
Alcohol is no friend to miss, for sure. When I'd been a daily drinker and finally stopped for a while, I had frequent pendulum swings of emotions. Our brains, nervous systems, hormones, muscles... all experience a massive readjustment while we detox from the constant barrage of poisons we'd ingested.
Please be patient with yourself. Try having a set of backup plans ready to go when you're feeling lonely, full of self-doubt, self-hatred, angry, sad. If you have plans in place, they can offer immediate and safe comfort when you're suddenly faced with a void or crisis. Grab a DVD, keep the fridge stocked with food you enjoy, call a trusted friend, go out for a walk with the baby or just yourself. If our thread is quiet, or any other thread you frequent, check out the SR chat.
Big hugs to you. I know you have a lot on your plate at home. Make sure to do something nice for yourself every day. You're doing great!
