I know that my reaction to all of this has been toxic. But, I need(ed) the craziness and need(ed) the grief and tears. I have such a tendency to bottle up my emotions so I suppose I should be thankful that this was hard enough that my emotions wouldn't stay in the bottle.
This is day 2 without tears.
I won't say I haven't had crazy thoughts, that would be a lie. I've had them, but I can breathe through them and call them crazy.
I'm fairly certain that he won't be happy with this person, but I guess he's going to have to learn that for himself. My telling him that isn't going to do anything. I had an honest talk with my kids last night. I let them know that this isn't as easy on me as I'm letting on, but that I love them, and no matter what happens we'll get through it.
I also didn't contact him today. yay me! I wonder how long it will be before he texts me. I've told him to stop telling me that he loves me and misses me, it's just not fair, it messes with my head too much.