It seems so simple
As I slowly begin to clear out of the fog of alcohol, I can almost feel my mind and my thoughts lift ..things become more clear, I begin to think a little more positively, things seem more manageable. It's so blatantly obvious the damage alcohol does to my mind, body, and soul- and rather quickly. It robs me of self-confidence,clarity,optimism, and motivation. My whole outlook on life changes when alcohol is in the picture: I begin to obsess over the past, over people, over things I have no control over. I desparately want my ex in my life, and can't imagine ever meeting someone I will love again, and then worry about being alone forever. Yet once alcohol is out of the picture, things become manageable again, I feel happy about my life the way it is, and looking forward to my journey ahead, whatever it brings. It doesn't happen right away, but each day gets better and better.
So back to my original point...it just seems so simple: why drink when all it does is create negativity and pain in my life. It's like a simple math equation: Drinking = pain/Sobriety=peace of mind. Why would one choose the former? Why have I for so long? And since it's so obvious to me now, why should it even be a struggle?
I consider myself a smart woman and I have a good head on my shoulders. I've been through a lot in my life, but I've stayed strong and managed to create a wonderful life for myself and my children through it all. Clearly, somewhere along the line I let alcohol get the better of me.
I know the answer must be that this is the power of addiction. And if that is the case, then it truly is utterly baffling and controlling. I'm at the point where I dont' think I benefit from drinking or get any pleasure out of it anymore. Bottom line, I am way happier without it.
It should be so simple.