relapse of the mind
I had a brief but disturbing relapse of the mind this afternoon. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with unpacking from my recent move and while taking a break i had a craving to drink. Not so bad that i had an urge to go buy alcohol but if there had been any in the house i would have been all over it. Then i began to talk myself out of my alcoholism. That i could handle my drinking since i'd been doing so well in my sobriety. The worst part was that after saying "no, i am an alcoholic" i swept the incident under the rug for the rest of the day. It wasn't until i spoke with my husband about it and he told me that i was due for a meeting did it hit me that my mind had relapsed. I'm looking up meetings for my new area for tomorrow. I'm a bit disappointed in myself but i know there are going to be moments like this throughout my life. My sobriety has been going fantastic overall so i suppose that's part of the reason this bummed me out. The positive i'm taking from this is that i recognized the craving and the trigger and that i utilized my support and asked for help. Honesty and humility saved me today.