You are all so very kind. It amazes me how strangers can be so kind and I'm finding that *most* people seem to think I should just get over it.
I had a full blown crazy moment yesterday. I sent him a text and asked if he would meet me for coffee, he said no. I told him that he had a choice, he could come and meet me on my lunch, meet me after work, or I was going to her house. He said he would call the police. I told him that if he wanted to add having me arrested to everything else, that was his choice. He agreed to meet me.
I gave him a letter. It was pretty long and I can't remember all of it. But, basically I told him that I meant my marriage vows, even though he's unable to keep them right now, I'm keeping mine. I told him that I know he's going through something, and after he's gone through I will be there, waiting on the other side.
I would love to say that he broke down and begged me to come home, but he just looked at me with pity.
Today however is a record day. I have not cried. For some reason I feel a bit stronger. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be stronger still.
I am so sorry to all of you who have gone through similar things. I never imagined that I was capable of feeling pain like this.