Originally Posted by sweetteewalls

I'm sitting in lobby waiting for therapist now after long day at work. I am taking care of me. I guess I know I am doing the right thing and in the long run, it will be for the best, but it hurts very much. Its so hard because we have kids to do "no contact". I wish I NEVER had to interact but on occasion its necessary. I hate feeling this way, I feel like an empty shell of a person. I feel like everything I believed in is no longer. I always believed if I did the right thing, supported my husband, God would bless me. I am just having a hard time realizing that what God wants for me and what I want for myself are 2 different things. The hardest thing for a codependent to do...is nothing. Sit back and do me and have to let everything else fall into place. I literally feel myself physically aching from sadness and anxiousness. Until I am better, I will continue meetings, self care, therapy and posting here...bare with me everyone.