I, too, lost myself in my husband's alcoholism. And it took some time to find myself again.
How I did it was by trying different things. I had no idea what I might like, so I tried a lot of different stuff that sounded appealing. I took a CC course on creative writing. (writing didn't turn out to be my "thing," but the course was taught by a therapist, so it was very helpful anyway) I took ballroom dancing lessons. Heck, I even went to city council meetings just to see what was going on in my town, lol. You have to try stuff out to find out what turns you on. You'll never find it sitting alone at home in front of the tv.
L