Originally Posted by
NancyEllen 
The last time he went into detox, I had to run his business. I have my own business to run and a 92 and a 91 year old aunt and mother that I take care of. He didn't outright ask me to take care of his business but I knew he was suggesting it!
I told him to take it minute by minute and at least get the Doctor on the phone today!
I know that its real hard to watch someone take themselves down the tubes. I know because my 2 sisters and 2 brothers make it perfectly clear how they felt. They, and my parents, besides verbally telling me also stopped carrying me. They stopped bailing me out of every issue that my drinking put me in. In your case, it's this business, and unless I miss my guess a slew of other things. I can only imagine how hard it was to do for my family, but if they hadn't, I'd never have got serious about getting sober. Every time my family 'fixed' things right for me, they in effect, told me it was OK for me to do it again. I don't know what's right in your case, only in mine.
When anyone tries to stop doing something they have been doing for a long time they have to have a real valid reason to do it. For a drunk, they call it hitting bottom. No one can say what someone elses bottom is, because everyone is different. My family, chose to help me find it.
There's a saying in AA, "If you haven't lost everything you value in life...keep drinking...you will". When I lost everything that I was willing to lose, I seriously chose to quit.
Originally Posted by
NancyEllen Anyway, he has never been to AA. How do you get someone to go?
I know the three Cs. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it! Should I just take care of myself and my family and let him take care of himself?
What would you do?
You can't force someone to go to AA. If he's been to detox and if they're doing their job, then they've informed him of 12 step programs and all the other alternatives. About the only other thing you could do, is what my family did. They got all sorts of pamphlets and 'accidentally' left them lying around. I did pick them up and glance through them, although I wasn't happy about it, until my mom told me that she was getting some help for herself because of dad, and I KNEW he had a REAL problem.
But it's important that you be able to do all this safely. I was not the type of drunk that had to hit people to get a point across. Oh, I had a temper, I just didn't get physical with live objects, and my knuckles I broke hitting trees would prove it.
YOU have to be safe. Both physically and emotionally. If you can help your brother hit bottom and do this, great. Otherwise, just tell him to take a hike until he's proven that he's serious about getting better.