tough love is not abusive love Keepstrong. they are different. your family sounds like a very abusive, dysfunctional, and toxic group of people and you have every right to be angry about the treatment you received from them.
tough love is about setting boundaries and consequences. its about being fair and just and protecting yourself when you can see that the person you are dealing with is not someone who will respect you and consider your feelings and wants. but its also about compassion and allowing someone to make their own mistakes and deal with the consequences without being cruel towards them. tough love just means being tough, but still loving.