So Setting Myself Up For A Relapse But...
Pain, hurt, isolating. Reading the book on what the F**K. Things are unraveling and I'm not so good at mending. Giving myself every ratioale and excuse to bottle myself. Like why I should fills a page, why I shouldn't just I can't and don't want to. Guess I need to go with the rationale, sane reasons because that is sanity and salvation. Going to make some calls, meetings and decide that living with some pain, panic, fear and discomfort beats not living. I'm good at supporting my family, lots of work to do on supporting myself. A little fearful of going out but terrifyied of staying inside myself. I guess when the sh*t hits the fan its best not to stand in the breeze and breathe it in. Pain passes, self destruction lasts forever. Thinks for being here, best get busy living. As always, best to all and to my self.