Englishgarden, really gets it she always really seems to nail e drugging on the head for me. I love your posts it almost like you we lived parallel lives in some way. My drug addict husband, can be extremely high functioning I'd he has just the right amount now of opiates. It's when he mixes then with vodka or tequila or runs out of them that he becomes a beast. When he takes Xanax and mixes that with alcohol he does things that he would not normally do I believe cheating is one of those things and he has blackouts and doesn't remember anything. He obviously takes way more thatn any doctor would prescribe. But I can tell when he just has the right let's say amount of painkillers for his tolerance at this point he is actually a happy guy. I I can tell now just what he has or doesn't have or has mixed. He still isn't the wonderful man he was before he ever started this. That is a different person all together unfortunately I think he is gone. Because he is so high functioning he thinks he doesn't have a problem wish is even worse to me I almost wish something bad would happen to wake him up to this disease. I'm the only one hitting rock bottom. Thanks englishgarden for all your post they are so helpful