Originally Posted by cat5656

I am destroyed, hurt, shamed. I need some 2 cents.
A quick snapshot. I have been with my wife for almost 10 years. I know her for over 13 years. I have two small wonderful healthy children with her. When I started dating her. She told me she was in the program had had been clean for many years. 13 to be exact. Bomb shell hit me. I caught her cheating on me, in the most disgusting way possible. She had an affair for almost 5 months. We started working through it when she came and confessed she is addicted to prescription pain killers for almost 3 years. A lot of them. A new total bomb shell hit. I got cut at the knees again. We are both in our forties. She is kicking and has been clean for over 2 weeks now. But the extent of the lying, cheating, and stealing is truly devastation. Beyond belief. I cannot believe I did not see this. She came home to me every night. She talked to me about going to meetings and how others are cheating and using also. So I am a broken man. She is coming out of the fog, and remembering a lot of stuff that she did and I guess being honest to me about it. She wants to save the marriage and all the good stuff now. But how do I deal with the betrayal and the no trust now. And can anyone answer this question please. “How much responsibility does the using of the drugs have, to lead to do all the things she did”. Also, is she responsible for her actions?