My boyfriends drinking is destroying our relationship
Hi,
I've come to this site because i'm looking for some advice on how to help my boyfriend with his drinking problem. He drinks on average 30-40 pints of lager per week, he may have 1 or 2 days off drinking per week but not always. He is 30 and has been drinking heavily for at least the last 10 years. When he drinks he becomes angry and impatience and snaps at the slightest thing. This is really upsetting for me, I don't think there has been even a couple of days for the last 5 months when I haven't cried about this problem. His drinking effects everything in his life and our life together. He has a full time job but most days has a hangover and is very tired at work. Most days i am also far too tired to do my job properly since i have been up at night arguing with him about his drinking or just waiting for him to some home because i am so worried.
He is not able to save money, pay off any debts, do anything on his days off, even get his hair cut because he is almost always in a state of being hungover or drunk.
I have tried everything from the softly softly approach where i try to offer help and support to sleeping in a different room for several nights in the hope that my being away from him will make him see the light. Nothing changes.
He knows he has a problem and when he is drunk he often gets upset and says he wants to stop or cut down his drinking because ultimately it makes him unhappy but then the next day he will just drink again to the same extent. I have tried suggesting he drinks water in between pints or that he drinks slower or drinks weaker beers but to no avail.
I am really at the end of the road, I've almost given up hope. He has promised so many times it will change but it never does.
I just don't know what to do anymore. He is so so lovely when he is not drunk and he isn't always mean when he is drunk but i hate him drinking so much.
Please help i'm really struggling and can't turn to anyone because i feel it will make him look bad or make me look like a nagging hassling girlfriend.