It might help if you do some online reading regarding depression in men. That is a possible reason for his withdrawal and mood. And what happens to spouses of depressed men is often what you described you are feeling: anger, frustration, anxiety.
Alcoholics often have underlying clinical depression, which manifests in cycles over the years. And experts on depression note that family members living under the same roof as someone with clinical depression also may develop clinical depression themselves as a result of the stress.
The problem may not be depression, of course, but that is one possibility to explore. And it is treatable.
I hope things improve for you both soon.