Crazyiebabie
I know exactly whT you mean years agp when the drugs didn't have such a hold on him he wouldn't leave or let me leave. I thought of that as his love for me.I thought he really wants me in his life more than he doesn't. The sick thing is now 4 years kater I'm almost disappointed that he doesn't fight for me or to keep me in his life. But I have to realize it was all a game even then, not true love from him for me. So he left and seems happy about being away from me,but is he worth it then if he doesn't want me why would I want him? It's all new when some time goes by who knows how he will feel but I know my life has become a living he'll and yes I'm lone,y but I'm not in his control with my emotions and there is some peace in that. I feel your pain I wish more than anything in the world this man would give up drugs wake up and say I love Maria more than anything and I'm going to do everything to get her back. It's just a fantasy that's not ever going to happen. I don't talk to other men I feel like a widow, I don't want to cheat so I stay in limbo until an actual divorce is in place and I don't have the heart to start it, so I wait for him to do it. I'm still very emotional and sick just trying to take baby steps to recover