Way to go Endofline....you are off and running. Please make sure you do something special for YOU tomorrow. Doesn't matter how you feel, just do it! Get a mani/pedi, get a new haircut, but a new top...anything! It will make you feel a little better.
No one is talking about you. People have their own issues and some can't even deal with their own. And if some of his "friends" think you are nuts.....Who cares what THEY think. They will probably be the ones knocking on your door sooner or later anyway.
YOU deserve so much better. Let go of the dream....it's not real. It is now your nightmare. Make yourself take care of YOU. Put the same efforts into YOU that you have put into him.
Keep posting for support. You can do this!!