So hard to know if I'm doing the right thing
Last weekend I got a fleeting glimpse of the man I married. Two reasons one I was home to babysit him and second he was dead broke no money for drugs so he was a little humble compared to his arrogant self . We had to leave house so it could be shown it's on the market and we actually spent the day together with our dog . This isn't something that we have really done in three years together,but use to all the time before he was hooked on pain killers that he buys off the street. I had maybe 40 dollars so he played nice just to use me I guess. But to me it was lovely. Well Monday came and I went to work he doesnt work laid off electrician and by the time I got home he had been drinking vodka and got prescription from dr that he didn't let's say take as prescribed. I was just going to let it go just not to fight but of course he was looking for a fight. I asked him to leave b4 I called police when he just wouldnt stop. But that's like telling a kid he is punished in his room with all his favorite things. He came home smelling of weed and booze. Tuesdays he was ok but basically ignoring me, wedi had dr appt for serious health issue he couldn't be bothered he was busy running Riund mKing drug deals never even asked me how it went. Thursday went out at 12 noon and never came home called or texted me just showed up Friday morning like nothing happened as I got ready for work. He treats me with such disrespect,so here we are Friday and he was out again when I returned from work at 1pm. I told him not to comeback and had locksmith change the locks after finding a pipe and more empty vodka in garbage can. I dontknow if I can do thus and it was expensive but I just can't take anymore he wants to act single then fine he isn't coming and going as he p,eases and humiliate me I would never do that to him. I forgot to mention my employer today made it clear that I need to get myself together or I wont have a job there. That would be the third job all this dysfunction has taken a toll on,while he sits home when I'm working but the minute I get home he darts out without eventellingmewhere or when he is coming back. I'm sick now not just emotionally but physically and he is so selfish. Friday night I have been waiting for locksmith since6 he just left it's 10:30. I'm exhausted and I know I deserve better I li e in a small town and I'm sure everyone is talking about us and how much he hates me.it's humiliating. After all thus I dingbats him and I wish him the best. I just cant live like this any longer. So did I do the right thingwhoknows when I was patient when I tried to help or even at times pretend it was ok. It got meno where so could it get worse. Time will tell. I just wish I could get my self out of this small dark lonely p,ace I have been stuck and meet normal people and have a life and something to look forward to again. I pray everyday, I knowGod has a plan forme and I'm right where he wants me it's just been so long I hope things will turn around