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06-07-2012, 09:06 PM

# 38 (permalink)

Sheryl85

'55 Classic

Join Date: Nov 2005

Location: Waco, TX

Posts: 637

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugarbear1

I have a friend who's been in and out of AA for 18 years, still on the steps 1 2 3 dance.

Now, after her last relapse, her sponsor has suggested 90 in 90.

Sorry, it's not the meetings that have helped me get to one year; it was working the steps 4-9 that made the difference. 10-12 daily also helps. I have the steps to work in any situation I am in; I don't have a meeting any time I am having problems in life....

When will this sponsor realize that this person needs the solution that is in the steps?

More or less just venting here. My friend now believes it's the 90 in 90 that will help her. I tend to disagree.

Opinions on the topic welcomed!

Your friend is lucky to have someone like you in her life. This is just a suggestion, but try and encourage your friend to complete this task. What's the worse that can happen? I've never heard of anyone being harmed by too many meetings. And perhaps she will receive enlightenment. In the meantime you can gently encourage her to continue working on her Steps and share your experience of how that worked for you. The first segment of the Steps are very important in surrendering our will, but we know that real contentment comes with the latter segments. Those are the ones that help deliver the faith that works under all conditions and help us to receive contented sobriety.

Perhaps her sponsor has something specific in mind for your friend. Whatever the reason, just remember that God has a plan in the works for her. I have found that some of us just have to travel a longer path before we receive the key which will unlock those shackles that alcohol has placed on us. One man I knew tried for over 20 years before he “got it.” They nicknamed him the silver slipper. He had so many sobriety dates that the last time instead of a lighter like they used to give out for yearly anniversaries (back in the day) his sponsor penciled in his sobriety date on a matchbook and gave it to him. He died sober with well over 25 years and greatly respected in the AA community.