Donut, you will probably start to feel better when you are more nutritionally stable. Could you manage to drink Ensure supplements? Lack of adequate nutrition can lead to distorted and negative though processes. I'm not saying this is the 'cure' but it definitely will help. Have you had blood work done to check for vitamin, mineral and other deficiencies? Severe deficiencies of certain B vitamins (common in alcoholics) can cause a number of psychiatric symptoms.
I'm sorry if you've answered any of my questions in other threads.
M