DONUT

I have posted numerous threads re these issues and i feel like over the last three weeks i have been through maybe the darkest period of my life. I have support from a crisis team, psychiatrist, dietician and some friends (including those on this site) and feel very fortunate to have his- alone i would have definately ended this by now. I guess i am trying to work out how bad things have been for other people when they quit drinking - i have a history of depression and have been functioning at some level (employed-house - friends etc) with drink for 2 decades. Now 10 weeks in I am severely clinically depressed, admitted to a pysche unit for 72 hrs, have completely unbearable days in which i can spend up to 10 hrs curled into an anxiety guilt ridden ball - this has paralysed me, stopped me working, i have lost so much weight i may end up in hospital being tube fed etc so the wheels have really fallen off. I am not sure how much of this i can equate to the cessation of drinking??? is it more my underlying psyche issues that have been "dampened" by the drink. Surprisingly i don't actually want a drink although i know the anxiety would lift at least whilst it was in my system etc. I have already asked for advise for most of these issues - thanks to everyone who has sent me comments/ advice - so this is more an update. Things seem to really be going down - okay it's only 10 weeks but i feel i am becoming really psychologically scarred by this process of "recovery" and i am starting to wonder if this is "as good as it gets"...p.s. have not been to AA because i can't really get out the house so this is my quasi AA meeting
Thanks again
D