I have found newcomers think they need a kick in the pants, until of they get a kick in the pants. Then it’s off to the resentment bus we go. (That’s ok we have a solution for that)
There is a great sponsorship pamphlet. I read it from time to time as a reminder of what I should and should not be doing.
I do not “click” with everyone. I have an awful time with “sympathy junkies”. I work much better with the feisty ones.
I take sponsees, one on one, through the steps. That is where I bond with them. The fifth step is very intimate and you may really bond over this step.
It has taken me years to get where I am at with sponsorship. A lot of trial and error. I’m sure there’s more to come. I use to be the type of sponsor to “tell” you what to do. Today I feel that is the easy way out.
As a sponsor, I take them through 1-3 as soon as possible. If they take the third step I ask if they want continue with the rest of the steps. If they do not, I look for another newcomer to take through the steps. There are other women willing to play dial an answer on the phone with them. I only practice the steps as the solution. I do not mean to sound snotty. My purpose is to carry the message of the spiritual solution to alcoholics who still suffer. I do not get distracted with other methods.
Then on an ongoing basis, I look for opportunities to take them through the 4-9 AA process both with their situations and my own. Practice these principals in all our affairs.
PS I have had 10 sponsors. Stayed sober through them all.