I feel for you....that is a terrible situation. Even if he doesn't have the OW he is an alcoholic and you deserve a sober man!
I am a GREAT mom and GREAT wife and my husband left me for the OW. I have gone thru the hurt and anger, now I just think HE is the one who is missing out. I am a great woman and I deserve to find the man who will love and treat me like I deserve.
This guy is an addict that needs help, and may NEVER get it. You are not responsible for that, but you are responsible for your happiness. Once we are healthy inside the other decisions get much much easier!
Good luck to you,
Di