Morning Luling. I love reading your posts, you remind me a lot of me!
I, too gave up alcohol easily when I was pregnant. You are doing it for someone else then and there is always a physical reminder of why you shouldn't go back.
My drinking wasn't as bad when my kids were little, I could manage it quite effectively when they were in bed early and I had the evenings to myself.
It has got worse as they've got older, until it got to the point of making me ill physically and mentally.
I'm never drinking again for my kids, my husband, my friends, but most importantly for me. That feeling of shame you talked about? It doesn't go away.
It weighs you down. Time to kick it into touch permanently. Hold your head up high, you've got a disease, have recognised it, and are doing something about it. That makes you a GREAT mum!
Walk with me, we can do it together xxx