Today I'm mad
Since all this started with my AH 6 months ago (that's when I found out), I have pushed my feelings way back to better support him. We separated recently and I filed for divorce, and was granted sole custodial parent of our sweet baby (who is officially a walker now).
Anyhow, I found myself no longer in denial of his addiction, but in denial about my feelings. I put myself on this path of, it is what it is, do what needs to be done, no reason to be angry because it won't help anything. I wanted to handle all this as adult as possible (I'm 28). I have been passing off my own feelings to appease my AH for 12 years, and I'm done.... Today I am mad at him, and allowing myself to feel that way. Im most mad that he hit rock bottom after I officially gave up. I had reached my rock bottom with him and I will never go back. I am just so mad at him for putting us in this position. I'm mad that he is texting me about how much he misses us, like I should be consoling him after the hell he has drug us through. It feels good to have these powerful emotions- I numbed myself in order to make it through the separation and filing. I guess I just wanted to share, I feel like this is a big step. I hope most of you are having a better day than I have