How did you pick your name and would you now change if you could?
I picked my name the day my little neighborhood boyfriend (3 1/2 and so darn cute) picked a flower for me. The pedals were already dying and I sat with him and did the old "he loves me, he loves me not."
It ended with he loved me not. I hugged and tickled him said What??? You love me NOT!! He said "oh, but I do." (already the charmer, lol).
I came inside with the one pedal flower in my hand, thought about my husband and started to cry.....I thought "he loves me not" and joined SR for help. I don't even remember how I found this site.
At the time, I still believed....if he really loved me, he wouldn't take pills! I was told addiction had nothing to do with his love for me but I still didn't understand.
Would I change my name...if I could? Maybe! I hate how codependent my thinking was (and still is in many ways) .....but it's also a good reminder of what I don't want to be.
P.S. When I read a post saying "An active addict is incapable of love with another person, they only love their drugs" - I went to my first Alanon meeting! Probably to try and prove that post wrong.
