It never ends.
I have been addicted to opiates and other things as long as I can remember. The most I have ever gone clean was two weeks. Every time I try to get clean I fail. I would rather eat a bullet then keep going through this crap. Every time I say this is it I'm done its followed buy a relapse. I know I'm rambling but I'm just at the end of my rope I feel like I'm going crazy. Why do I have absolutely no control over this. Just lost and depressed. Want to feel normal but I'm not I'm just an addict who can't get clean. This is a terrible way to live. I have a professional job and once again I'm going through detox at work. I hope I can kick this before it kicks me more then it already has.