fought the battles but lost the war.
It has been some time since I posted here. I have been fighting to save my family for the last three years. As I mentioned before my mother is a very long term alcoholic my brother was a lifelong alcoholic and I am now watching my baby sister turn into a drug addict and alcoholic. I will say this now I wish I had a chemical like them to buffer the pain I feel now but I just cannot use or drink.
My life has taken a very wrong turn now. I finally reached out for help with my anxiety problem and doctors prescribed me an anti-anxiety medication well I went home and took 2 as the doctor had told me to do. 30 minutes later I found myself very depressed and wound up taking a lot of tylenol pm. I realized what I had done so I went and found my mama and I told her what I had done. I woke up the next day with black lips (from charcoal) in a psych ward. well the doctors came in to talk to me and asked exactly what had happened. I explained to them that I had taken the Adavan and then became very depressed but I have no feelings of suicide and normally I don't. They told me no more of anything that ends in pam and I need to try to lessen my own stress. OK
My brother took my accident particularly hard. I have spent the last 3 years intensivly fighting for my Bubba's life. I have called the police took him to the hospital went to comcare anything anywhere that would help me to save Jon's life. I finally had to let go and let God so I put a restraining order on my own brother so he could not do me any more damage. So finally I got his attention (though by accident). Jon had a warrant and knew he was going to have to do a year in jail so he steeled himself took a deep breath and turned himself in. He knew that he had to do something to make himself stronger to help me and to help him. Well my bubba spent a week in jail and unfortunately his detox was too much and he ended up hanging himself in his cell. I am not able to go into a lot of detail due to the investigation but I will say I feel very very angry with the county jail!! I am in a slight place of peace because my bubba is no longer embarrassed of his sickness or begging for a place to sleep he is at peace. but I still hurt alot!!