Sometimes......we don't have problems.........we have solutions........that we don't like.
Addicts use because it makes them feel good or dulls pain. Their words are the drug of a codependent......for the same reason.......those words make us feel good or dull our pain. "I love you" or "I want to get clean and sober" are just words.....they are used to keep us hooked. Action and behavioral changes are the real dialogue.
I am not a victim if I recognize what is going on and I don't do anything to help myself. That makes me a willing participant......and I've done that plenty. I just choose not to do it anymore.
How? By stopping the insanity....getting off the crazy train......and taking care of me first. This is not a selfish thing.....it is a survival thing. I can't help others around me if I'm not able to help myself.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke