Looking back the drinking held me in limbo for a long time. The limbo of what I did wrong to make the drinking happen. My own addiction was that a contributing factor etc.
I actually was okay with the recovery limbo as a result. I gave myself permission to not make a decisions for six months directly about the relationship. Those decisions were made for me in that time. Now that is not saying that you don't need to be safe (you and your kids do), but that the time spent in recovery for you will be valuable time to help with the bigger decisions...regardless of what you decide.
I just got crazy and part of my stinking thinking was that I had to have it all figured out that day.
Be gentle with yourself, this is a confusing time for you.