Emmy, going thru same except no parents. I think you have to remember alcoholism is progressive. My AH sounds like yours...not always drinking. But just like me...he was sober for 8 months and then blinsided by relapse. Even if he came home today Id always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. In counseling my husband too admitted so much resentment toward me. They need to be able to work through that. Just don't force an answer. That was my problem. You will have to see improvement over time...if its meant to be, it will be. Just keep focus on you and daily activities.