A friend of mine in Al Anon told me that she experienced detaching with love as a process. She said it started as detaching with anger, creating physical space so that she could heal her emotional wounds and work on herself, then came the detaching with love. She explained that when she detached with love she had a softer attitude instead of anger and resentment.
I guess it's all a process and for me, my process really got started when he got the DUI back in February. It was MY wake up call as to how big HIS problem had become to OUR family and so, what am I going to do about it? How am I going to protect myself and my son from future alcohol related incidents? How am I going to stay in a marriage that is in crisis mode at the moment? And, above all else, how am I going to rely on my Higher Power and give my AH over to HP and feel good about releasing my control. Progress, not perfection, right?