I've been exactly where you are. My husband had an episode like this a little over a year ago and went a year after without drinking...but you know what? I lived the last year afraid it will happen again. It's so scary. No one should have to live in fear of that happening in their own home. I left last month with my two little boys not because it happened again, but because he drank, period. It has to be no tolerance. We are not punching bags for drunk men. My husband has never "punched" me or left a bruise, but he's slapped and pushed me. Who knows where that could lead? It's hard but you need to remove yourself from the situation. Even if you're not ready for divorce. I missed my husband for the first week, and I still do at times, but the peace I feel at night knowing my children and I are safe is worth any inconvenience, discomfort, or loneliness I may feel. My thoughts are with you, at times I've felt no one else on earth understood what that felt like. Especially when he's a decent guy when sober.