LearnTo Swim,
You are not taking your child away from his father. You ABF choices and actions are.
Your first and formost obligation is to you baby, and yourself. And neither of you deserve to be held hostage by his unacceptable behavior.
You will never find happiness with an active alkie. You are not psychotic, you are feeling the effects of living with an addict. This is what they do, lie, deny, control, manipulate, and repeat........
Read everything you can about addiction, take the time to learn what you are truly dealing with. Alanon is another resource you should check into.
Take care of you, and your munchkin.
We are here, you are not alone.