Hi
I have been drinking since I was a teenager...about 25 years. For most of those years I didn't abuse that, however for nearly 5 years now I have used alcohol more and more to escape any negative emotions I might be harboring ~ about myself or others. I live in a family/relationship where drinking is socially the norm. Beer is always available in the fridge. Wine is often served at dinner, before dinner and in between.
What has me here today is the frequency and amount I have been consuming. I actually looked up the term functional insanity and it brought me to the definition of a functional alcoholic; which up until the last few months I probably was. Someone who drank several (at least 2 but usually 5 or more) servings of alcohol a day, to lately, someone drinking enough to loose gaps of memory from the day or night before & doing things like getting mad and driving under the influence to leave the confrontation I either started or made into a bigger problem by being drunk. I am a mom to two teenagers 18 & 16 years old who scold me for doing un -mom like things under the influence. Even though they know our family is always drinking something, they are telling me hey, you have a problem and need to stop.
That is why I am here. I can't have one drink and be satisfied any longer. I know if I quit, I must do it completely, as it tends to be all or nothing anyway. I am sure that my story is like most of yours, a drinking habit out of control and causing trouble in your life in some shape or form. I hope to stay sober if at all possible and find other ways to channel my inner storm than medicating the problems. I'm glad I found this forum or it found me...