Hi oino
I'm sorry you are feeling like that. I have over 14 months sober & while my life is unspeakably better, thank god, I was still suffering from some mental/emotional problems. I am now seeing a counselor & it is helping. It is ok to seek professional help. Also, living well & doing your best~you are more than a drunk. We all are and as you get better and live well you can walk away from the wreckage and have a good life. I hope you feel better soon. There is so much good in life if we choose it.