yes, we must remember who they really are. I've always told my son "this is not who you are" when he's been in active addiction. It was such a gradual descent I didn't recognize the evil of addiction at first ... When heroin entered the picture he spiraled out of control quickly, it led him to jail for 18 months, he came out clean and managed 8 months of sobriety before he relapsed. He has been struggling ever since. I think he is clean now but only time will tell. My contact with him is limited. He is living in a tent, just got a job a week ago and is trying to get it together. No little boy or little girl ever says "Im going to be a drug addict when I grow up" it's hell for them and hell for us.
At times when I was overcome with all the angry emotions that come with active addiction I would try to focus on who he really is, the young man I knew before drugs took over his life and mind.
Once when he was not quite two we were driving to a friends house I noticed the moon, it was full and very beautiful. I pointed it out to him "Brett, look at the moon! Isn't it pretty?" without missing a beat he said "Mommy that not a moon, that a COOKIE!" He was so innocent, so sweet ... i don't know why but that moment in time has gotten me through a lot, it was simple, but beautiful, I will never forget how much I love him, have always loved him, from the moment I discovered I was pregnant with him .... he is a gift