Originally Posted by
NikNox 
Thanks both of you. My husband feels that if mum rings to speak to SD, then if she's around he should ask her if she wants to talk to her, simply because she herself (SD) might actually want to. That was the first time since the letter that mum has called though, so if she does call again he will just say something like 'I don't think she wants to speak to you, so try her phone and if she doesn't answer then that's up to her'. Can't really do anymore than that can he.
Well, you have to do what you think is best, but I have been through this before and I was just giving you my own experiences. My daughter went on to completely cut her dad out of her life when she turned 18. She changed her last name from his to my maiden name, which I went back to after he and I divorced. My daughter would get angry if her dad called (which he very seldom did) and asking if she wanted to speak with him was just an invitation to a dreadful evening.
Perhaps just tell your SD that until you hear further, you will continue to tell Mom that SD does not wish to speak with her. If SD changes her mind, she can let you know. Then again, it's your decision.