FMTT,
I'm a Chronic Pain person under the care of a Pain MGM center. I've been on the pain med roller coaster for 5 years now? Something like that - ANYWAY...
This year I decided I'd be doing things differently than relying on pills. Besides the good diet and exercise I decided to see a shrink.
I've discovered many things about myself during this time and one of biggest things for me was I was officially diagnosed with ADHD. I've know I've had this all my life but always "managed" it. After a few months of going to the shrink and doing better, he placed me on some non-narcotic ADHD meds.
Going to the shrink is perhaps one of the best things I've ever done. I discovered that I relied on my pain meds for just more than "pain". Here I am months later and I haven't had a pain med in weeks? I have pain meds in the cabinet and walk by them all the time without even thinking about it. I no longer focus on my pain. I focus on everything else in my life.
My point is, that perhaps you should seek some professional help. In all the reading I've done, addiction is the result of MANY factors. I've also learned that pain can be more than just a physical condition. Think about reaching out to a professional. It helped me get my life back on track and my marriage/friendships/work has all benefited greatly from it too.