With my first husband, there was no Alanon or any help for me. I was
just getting into the 'throes' of my own alcoholism and he was full blown
and had cheated on me.
I threw him out, with just the clothes on his back. Then knowing he
would come back for his clothes and 'stuff' I took every one of his jockey
shorts and his tee shirts and STARCHED THEM ALL STIFF AS A BOARD.
Then when he still didn't come for his 'stuff', I called him and left a
message that if he wasn't there by Noon he would find ALL of his
possessions on the front lawn. He did not show by Noon (was probably
hung over, this was a saturday) it was more like about 3pm and ALL
his 'stuff' was out on the lawn, and I had changed the locks already
on the doors.
Nope, no Alanon in that, lol
However, because of my second husband, I was involved in Alanon
very heavily. He was a sober alcoholic that became a chronic
gambler. He changed addictions.
By the time I said ENOUGH, he said okay he would leave. He
found a place, and after he retrieved all of his personal belongings
I went No Contact.
Big difference in two very similar scenarios. Kind of the 'before'
and 'after' of Alanon and therapy, rofl
I was very 'hurt' with both of these events. With the first one, I
solved it by increasing my drinking, and didn't find recovery for
another 5 years. With the second divorce, I was over 7 years sober,
and over 4 years in Alanon. I increased my meetings, vented to
both my AA sponsor and my Alanon sponsor a lot, and they helped
me work through the emotions and the pain.
You are doing very good from what you have posted thus far. I can
only tell you that we are always here for you, and you can vent as
often as you need to. Just be aware, that he will probably wait
until the last minute in the hopes that you will do all the packing of
his possessions. Don't, hand him some big black trash bags and
allow him to be an adult.
I know this is hard for you, and I know he will try every manipula-
tion he can think of to stall.
My heart goes out to you. Stay strong! Check with the manager
of your complex about getting maintenance to change your door
locks ASAP.
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,