At my most difficult times pulling away from my ex...well, I couldn't have done it without Alanon and specifically the Alanon reading materials. I read the daily devotionals religiously and would scan through the back index to identify the feelings I was having at that moment and read all the readings on that topic.
Since I've been dealing with this lapse in my severe depression, I haven't been reading any of the literature or attending meetings....all my energy going toward my health issues. What I noticed is that my strong needs/wants/desires/whatever to talk to him and know what he's doing started returning almost as bad as before Alanon. I've been in Alanon 3 months and haven't seen my ex's face in more than 2 months. I knew the program was powerful, but I just have to wonder....if I never would have started the program and concentrating on me, then who knows where I would be right now? Probably dead. I was on a destructive path to suicide because I couldn't handle any more heartache from someone I loved so very much .
It's hard to let go. But just like the A's have to decide to stop drinking for themselves, us anons have to make up our own minds to recover from the codependency. No one can do it for us. We have to want it for us.
God luck and many hugs,
Jenna