Wicked-nothing I said was directed at you, and I do appreciate your story and your input.
Self flagellation? I am desperate for the truth, for clarity,and don't wish to be made a fool of anymore-so I am seeking info re those texts. I'm in enough pain already and don't need to get beaten up here as well, that is all.
LR-thank you again for sharing.
Marie-I need to see it for whatever it is, one way or the other.
allforcnm-yes, that is a risk posting on these forums-all kinds of people w all kinds of opinions. Some have more finesse than others-whatever someone wants to say is fine, I just expect to be "talked to" civilly.
I can't take the anger directed at me for trying my best to deal w the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm sure that in my traumatized state, my brain is not workng at it's full potential. When you have a broken heart on top of the trauma-coming to some kind of resolution is not like a mathematical equation, it is chaos. And if coming here is hurting more than helping, my fight or flight instinct kicks in. I am just a human being, after all.