I want to tell you that you are not alone and that you can have a wonderful happy whole life even though your mom is an alcoholic and even though you haven't had the wonderful mother you need for these past few years.
I'm so glad for all the wisdom and sharing and suggestions above. I agree with all of them and invite you to try out the ones that feel right for you.
My mom died when I was sixteen from cancer that wasn't diagnosed fast enough because of her alcoholic self-neglect. For years, I wondered what would have happened if she lived.
On one hand, my life would have gotten harder and harder. In this scenario, I'm so sorry to say, there's a blessing in that she died.
On the other, I imagined what could have been if she got sober and healthy. Would she have been there when I was admitted to Phi Beta Kappa? When I graduated college? My heart aches for you that your mom wasn't there for you, and for the milestone achievements ahead for you.
The odds are not good for your mom's recovery. But they are VERY GOOD for you. My experience is that I can be happy and whole EVEN THOUGH I didn't get the Mothering I needed from my mom. SR has been an incredibly supportive place for me with people who GET IT.
Sending you a cyber hug.